Your child is off to college. It can be tempting to rush into their empty bedroom and declutter, organize, and redecorate. Although I love to help clients get their homes in order, I’m going to ask you to pause on reorganizing your college student’s bedroom.
Emotional Connection
There are many emotions involved with heading to college. College is the first major step into adulthood. And, for many young people, it’s the first time they will be away from home for an extended period. They might worry about not being able to “make it” out in the wide world on their own. It’s important for them to feel they are still part of the family and can return home to their safe space – their bedroom.
Communication and Timing
Ideally, leave your college student’s bedroom untouched for the first year. However, I know that is not always possible because you may have other children who need extra space. For that reason, talk with your college student about your plans to reorganize. And don’t leave it until the week before they leave because it is a hectic and emotional time for them. Start the discussion as soon as they confirm they are moving out. Alternatively, you could bring up the subject when they return for their mid-semester break.
Communication and Respect
When you talk about reorganizing your college student’s bedroom, explain why you want to embark on this project. Is it to refresh the décor or let a younger sibling move into the larger room? Whatever your reasons, reassure them they will always be welcome at home. Also, make it clear that you need their participation. Specifically, you need their input on what they want to keep and what they want to let go of. By working on the project together, you respect your student as an adult.
Triage to Save Time
Not all students want to spend their holidays cleaning their room when they could be spending time with family and friends. In addition, you might get some resistance to the decluttering process. Rather than becoming frustrated, offer to do a “first pass declutter” and pre-sort to make the process faster for your college student.
In the first pass declutter, you work together to decide what you can automatically remove from the college student’s bedroom. This could include dishes and cutlery from the kitchen or books that belong to someone else. You might also decide what constitutes “garbage,” such as pens and markers that don’t work, outdated calendars, ripped or stained posters, etc.
Once you have established what you can toss on the first pass, go ahead, and declutter. However, do not toss anything unless it is on the list. If you find things you think are trash, put them aside and ask permission to throw them out.
Once you complete the first declutter, identify broad categories such as books, school supplies, clothing, sports gear, and memorabilia. Then, declutter the groups one at a time. If the category is large (kids often have lots of clothes), break it down into smaller chunks, such as clothes for warm weather or cold weather.
Impartiality is Important
Regardless of what you find in your college student’s bedroom, it is important to remain impartial. If they are having trouble, try asking, “Why is [item] important to you?” or “Does this spark joy?” This can help them work through the reasons for keeping or letting go of items.
They may keep grubby concert tickets that you would have tossed long ago. Conversely, they may have no emotional attachment to their baby booties that you can’t bear to part with. It would be best if you remained supportive regardless of what they keep or don’t keep. If they want to let go of their baby clothes, but you want to keep them, then you pack them away and store them somewhere else. Don’t force your college student to take responsibility for what you want.
Pack and Label
Finally, carefully pack mementos and extra clothing in appropriate containers. Use archival quality paper and bubble wrap to pack fragile items. Thoroughly clean and dry clothing, then neatly return it to your college student’s bedroom. Or you can store it in moisture-proof, pest-proof bins in another area of the home. Remember to label all the containers and boxes clearly.
Get Assistance
Contact the Out of Chaos team today if you and your college student are struggling with a bedroom declutter. We have years of experience helping families make the most of their space.
Image by Igor Starkov from Pexels.
